What went well
I think that the footsteps shot worked really well, its a sort of pov shot from under the cubicle and so shows that the character is looking around for what he’s heard. It also works quite well in building tension by combining the sound of footsteps approaching with the dramatic rise in music.
The last shot from over the builders shoulder with the man crouched in the cubicle helps to show the relation between the characters and how’re feeling. The fact that the paranoid man is very small on screen in comparison with the builder, shows that he is scared and threatened. Unlike the builder who is confident and unafraid.
Following Dom’s advice I decided to change the sound effects of the man screaming to a more traditional horror sound effects. This I think makes is slightly more subtle by not being as ‘in your face’ with the screams.
The POV shot of the cubicle door opening works well I think because it puts us clearly back in his perspective and helps to build suspense by having the door open fairly slowly until you can just see the builder.
What Could’ve Gone Better
The main problem I had was in constructing the scare scene where the man has just heard a loud bang and is now cowering in the cubicle to the sound of various sinister noises. This was all contained in one shot so it was difficult to have enough quick cuts to show the energy and fear. Simon showed me that I could cut up the shot, playing it back in a different order, in order to help break it up. What I could of done with is a number of close ups of his face so I could pad it out better and create more contrast between the shots.
When the paranoid man opens the door I think I could of made clearer what is happening. The music change helps highlight that time has passed and he’s now ready to open the door, but another technique I could of used would be a transition like cross fades, using these in the scare scene could help to disorientate the audience and reflect how lost and alone the character is. When it then cuts to the shot of him moving towards the door this would create contrast between the two sections.
The establishing shot of the man in the cubicle on his phone I think does the job of setting the scene and showing the location. However I think the phone sound effects are still a little rough, even after finding replacement effects that were more realistic. I could try playing with the sound a bit more to try and make it smoother, maybe with the use of reverb to try and blend it. Or try something different to open with like a book or even just sat there with a fairly neutral face.
I found it quite tricky to find a music track that i liked and fit. I decided on a Hysteria cover by 2 Cellos which Dom really liked but Simon was unsure about. Personally I think it worked well in building suspense and keeping the energy going, but doesn’t reflect the fear of the character as well as it could. I wanted to find something that was fairly energetic and intense but also scary. The trouble I had was that the majority of the more classic horror tracks were very slow and creepy but not good at keeping the pace going. In the future I need to keep in mind that I may have to compromise certain ideas in order to keep my story fluent.
Matthew Tucker 